BREAKING NEWS! A hurricane warning has been issued for Willow Glen High School Seniors as Hurricane College Applications approach. Effective immediately.
With the onset of winter, life-threatening storms of personal statements, recommendation letters, and supplemental essays have been forecasted. As the Hurricane approaches, seniors are scrambling for shelter under their chromebooks, frantically googling “Can I pay for textbooks with Monopoly money?”, “ Is ‘professional napper’ a viable career option post-graduation?”, and “How to write an essay about my cat’s influence on my academic success.”
Let us adjust our focus to the clear skies that lie just a few months ahead. College will be quite a change compared to high school with more independence, responsibilities, academic freedom, social connections, and opportunities for career preparation.
Independence/Responsibility:
In college, time management is of utmost importance. It is no longer the responsibility of teachers to remind you of assignment deadlines, meaning that this job is completely on your shoulders. You can also say goodbye to 8:30 to 3:20 school days! The freedom to choose your own schedule brings on its own challenges however, as you will need to manage your time for research papers, winding down, and getting alcohol poisoning.
Academic Freedom:
In comparison to high school, college students also enjoy more academic freedom. You can look forward to taking the classes you actually want to take such as Fantasy Football 101 and Naptime (sounds like a dream right?). By taking classes that correlate with your major, you have the opportunity to delve deeper into the subjects that really spark your interest. With a broader variety of classes to choose from, learning is bound to be more exciting.
Social Connections:
The transition from high school to college often leads to broader social networks. High school friendships often tend to revolve around geographic proximity, as students come from the same local area and attend the same school. In college, however, students attending college are from various locations, resulting in diverse social circles. College campuses are known for their varied student populations, which encourages interactions with people from different backgrounds and perspectives.
Career Preparations:
When comparing college career preparation options to those in high school, the contrast is clear. In high school, students are often exposed to a variety of careers through job shadowing and career counseling. On the other hand, in college, internships provide students with specific, career-oriented experiences. College students delve deeper into their chosen fields, often with the opportunity to receive academic credit in exchange.
Advice:
Woah, that’s a lot of information…but seniors do not fear! This transition will be a positive experience. Your safety is of utmost importance. We have created an emergency kit for your future college self…
Emergency Kit:
Homework-Excuse-Generator:
Don’t have a dog to eat your homework? Did you forget you had a paper due the next morning? Don’t stress, the homework excuse generator creates quick and efficient excuses that will encourage your professors to give you an extension or maybe even excuse the assignment. Isn’t that great?
Lecture-Summarizer-Synthesizer:
Is your class a snooze fest? All you need is a lecture-summarizer-synthesizer: your all-in-one tool for simplifying lectures and mastering knowledge. Gone are the days of worrying about falling behind, just whip out this device and the job is done!
1 Pack of 3-Course-Dinner Gum:
Sick of Cup o’ Noodles? This gum will give you instant gourmet meals, perfect for college students on the go! From lobster to triple chocolate cake, you will never head to class on an empty stomach. Yum!
1 Pair of Roller Skates:
Late to class? Roll on through.
5 Cans of Frat-Boy-Free Repellant :
Is there a frat boy lurking in your dm’s? Yikes! Banish him to his chapter house with your Frat Boy Free Repellant! One spray and those pests will be gone in no time.
Conclusion
Remember seniors, the College Application Hurricane will soon pass! We sincerely wish you the best of luck as you navigate this storm. Remember to take care of yourself and to take breaks when needed in order to limit stress (you consider brewing a cup of Chamomile tea). Oh, and don’t forget your emergency kit!